Ludwig's Hair Apparent
by 12345678910111213141516171819
Summary: Ludwig isn't good at being persuasive. He's good at breaking stuff though. Latest chapter involves FLUDD maintenance. Piqued?
1. White Bulb with Polka Dots

(A/N: Toad, Toadette, and the Mushroom Kingdom are owned by Nintendo)  
  
LUDWIG'S HAIR APPARENT  
  
Toad and Toadette are...doing nothing. And yet inside of Toad builds an incredible rage that is impossible to control. He suddenly gets up in a tantrum.  
  
Toad: "I can't take this anymore!"  
  
Toadette: "What's wrong?"  
  
Toad: "Look at this thing on my head. What is it?"  
  
Toadette: "What? Oh that polka-dotted bag on your head?"  
  
Toad: "Yeah, why is it there? Why do we all have these instead of having hair?"  
  
Toadette: "I have hair."  
  
Toad: "Please, don't rub it in."  
  
Toadette: sigh "Toad, you're a mushroom. All mushrooms have them!"  
  
Toad: "That's funny, I can't remember the last time I looked at a mushroom and saw a white bag with dots all over it."  
  
Toadette: "Hey don't be mean to me, I'm your girlfriend."  
  
Toad: "...I thought you were my sister?"  
  
Toadette: "Oh...actually I don't really know...maybe I'm mother"  
  
Toad: "Awkwardness. I'm going to leave now."  
  
--Later that day Toad goes into his top-secret laboratory under his house.  
  
Toad: "I want...no, I NEED to get some hair and to get rid of this bulb on my head, but how? I could make a potion of some sort. Or maybe I could build a machine. Yes, one that will give me the hair from anyone in the Mushroom World. I'll call it the " 'Hair Switcher'!"  
  
--Five months later  
  
Toad: "That's it! Finally, it's finished!"  
  
--Toad tosses the mega crossword puzzle he's been doing for five months.  
  
Toad: "Now what was it I wanted to do? Oh yeah, build the 'Hair Switcher'."  
  
--One hour later.  
  
Toad: "Well, that was quick. Then again I am pretty dang smart. Now to get it working I'm going to need to input someone's name. When I do that I will get that person's hair and he will get my polka dot bag thingy. And I know just whose hair I'm going to use." cackle  
  
[To be continued...] 


	2. Bowser's Secret

(A/N: Toad, the Mushroom Kingdom, and the Koopa Kids are owned by Nintendo.)  
  
LUDWIG'S HAIR APPARENT  
  
--Ludwig woke up to the usual crack of lightning that would arrive every morning in Lava Land. Something was different though. His head felt heavy for some reason. He reached up to where his hair would be and screamed. Iggy and Wendy ran into his room.  
  
Iggy: "What's the matter...whoa!  
  
Ludwig: "Don't try to act innocent, change it back!"  
  
Iggy: "You're talking to me?"  
  
Ludwig: "Who else would I be talking to? Only you'd do something as messed up as this. Remember when you turned my eyes into balloons."  
  
Iggy: "Heh heh, that was pretty funny."  
  
Ludwig: "..."  
  
--Iggy is scorched by a blast of fire breath.  
  
Iggy:_ (hack, cough)  
_  
Wendy: "I have to say that putting a mushroom hat thingy on Ludwig is kind of ingenious. How did you do it?"  
  
Iggy: "I swear, I didn't do anything."  
  
--Ludwig got out of bed and stomped to his father's room. When he entered he found Bowser flipping the channel towards the news.  
  
Ludwig: "King Dad..."  
  
Bowser: "SHHHHHH!"  
  
Lakitu TV Reporter: "There is quite a stir in downtown Toad Town today. It appears that Princess Toadstool's famed mushroom retainer, Toad, has gotten new hair do. But many residents consider it a hair don't.  
  
--The camera focuses on Toad, showing hair that looks eerily familiar.  
  
Ludwig: That's it, that's my hair! I could spot that tangled mane from anywhere."  
  
--Ludwig ran towards his airship. Meanwhile, Bowser flipped the channel back to what he was really watching.  
  
Bowser: "Ahh...good ol' Teletubbies. No one must know this horrible secret though. **No one!"**

**Elsewhere...**

Town Residents: "..."  
  
Toad: "Okay, I know you're all stunned but no one has said anything for hours. Someone say something."  
  
Man: "It's terrible."  
  
Toad: "Besides that."  
  
Woman: "It's horrible."  
  
Toad: "And that. Basically those two words and all words related to them should not be spoken."  
  
Girl: "Where did your head go?"  
  
Toad: "It's on my shoulders. If you're talking about that bulbous cap that used to be on top of my head, it's gone forever. And in its place is lively, flowing hair.  
  
Girl: "Oh well...it looks like your brain exploded."  
  
Toad: "Shush!"  
  
Voice: "Attention_...(cough, cough)..._ATTENTION RESIDENTS OF TOAD TOWN."  
  
--Everyone looked up and saw an airship floating in the sky. Ludwig was standing at the head of the ship shouting through a loudspeaker.  
  
Ludwig: "I AM ON A MISSION FOR MY HAIR. I KNOW ONE OF YOU HAVE TAKEN IT. PLEASE RETURN IT TO ME OR I WILL BLOW UP EVERYTHING IN A BILLION MILE RADIUS. THAT IS ALL."  
  
Town Residents: "....."  
  
Toad: "He's bluffing. I mean seriously, a billion mile radius? Yeah right, like that's going to happen."  
  
Ludwig: "OH AND DO IT IN TWO MINUTES OR ELSE...YOU KNOW ALREADY."  
  
--The town residents grab Toad and put him into a cannon that blasts him into Ludwig's airship.  
  
[To be continued...] 


	3. Enter FLUDD

KNOCK! KNOCK! KNOCK!  
  
--Luigi opened the door and found Toadette waiting at the steps.  
  
Luigi: "Whoa Toadette, I haven't seen you in awhile. Where have you been for the past five months?"  
  
Toadette: "Actually I've been trying to find out how I'm related to Toad."  
  
Luigi: "You're related to Toad? I thought you were his girlfriend?"  
  
Toadette: "Actually, Toad is my uncle's brother's son's best friend's roommate in college."  
  
Luigi: "..."  
  
Toadette: "It means Toad and I are just friends."  
  
Luigi: "..."  
  
Toadette: "Forget it. Anyway, I need to see Mario."  
  
Luigi: "How come?"  
  
Toadette: "A mob catapulted Toad into Ludwig's airship. I can't explain it in it's entirety I just need Mario to save him now!"  
  
Luigi: "You need Mario to do that. Why not me? Am I not good enough to save your precious Toad?"  
  
Toadette: "Well of course you are. It's just that Mario is...is um..."  
  
--Luigi closed the door in the middle of her sentence and went into the bedroom where Mario was looking at a cookbook (his favorite hobby).  
  
Luigi: "Mario, Toad is in danger."  
  
Mario: "We have to save him! Where is he located?"  
  
Luigi: "Toadette said he's in one of the airships owned by the Koopa Kids."  
  
Mario: "You know what we have to do."  
  
--Luigi and Mario walked over to a wall with two keyholes. They both took out keys with their initials on it and simultaneously fit the keys and turned the locks. The wall slid away and in its place was a wide array of powerups stocked over the years by the Mario brothers.  
  
Luigi: "I'm going to take the P-wing since I can start flying from anywhere. How about you?"  
  
Mario: "Hmm, I think I'll take the cape. It's a little bit more maneuverable."  
  
Voice: "What about me?"  
  
Luigi: "Who said that?"  
  
Mario: "Oh no."  
  
--A piece of machinery struggled to climb its way out of a pile of dirty clothes. It was FLUDD, the contraption created by Prof. E. Gadd to aid Mario in his quest for the Shines a while back.  
  
FLUDD: "Can't I be used for air travel?"  
  
Mario: "Yes you can, but not today."  
  
FLUDD: "Please bring me along! You promised that you'd include me another adventure. You promised! YOU PROMISED!"  
  
Mario: "Alright already! I'll bring you along, just quit begging."  
  
FLUDD: "Yay!"  
  
Luigi: "Mario, I didn't know you still had FLUDD. I thought you said you wanted to throw him away?"  
  
Mario: "I did, but as I was throwing him out he looked at me with these big, puppy dog eyes."  
  
Luigi: "FLUDD doesn't have eyes."  
  
Mario: "Maybe that was something else. Anyway, FLUDD does the dishes around here. And in exchange I'm supposed to bring him along on another adventure."  
  
Luigi: "Well then, I guess we better get going.  
  
--The Mario Bros. ran out of the house. Luigi flew away but Mario leaped and fell flat on his face.  
  
FLUDD: "My water tank is empty."  
  
[To be continued...]


	4. Ludwig is a violent monkey

--Ludwig's Airship...Toad was blasted by cannon straight into Ludwig's hands. The mushroom guy was immediately bound by rope and interrogated by Ludwig and his two siblings, Iggy and Wendy.

Ludwig: "Tell me!"

Toad: "No!"

Ludwig: "Tell me!"

Toad: "No!"

Ludwig: "Tell me!"

Toad: "No!"

Ludwig: "Tell me!"

Toad: "No!"

--Ludwig slapped Toad in the face.

Ludwig: "New rule! Every time you say 'No' I will slap you in the face."

Toad: "You're gonna slap me? Don't you think that's a bit girly?"

Ludwig: "True, you might have a point?"

--Ludwig took up a chair and broke it over Toad's head.

Ludwig: "New rule! Every time you say 'No' or call me 'girly' you're gonna get clobbered by a chair. And we have 76 chairs on this airship."

Toad: "Urrrggh...I should have kept my small mouth shut."

_FLUSH!_

--Wendy stepped out of the bathroom and found Ludwig hulking over Toad, and Iggy standing a couple of feet behind him, silent. Iggy looked over at the bathroom and covered his nose. Wendy readjusted her dress until it felt right.

Wendy: "Geez, the last couple of ones felt like burning. Iggy, what's going on?"

Iggy: "Ludwig is abusing the guy, but he's not telling anything.

--Wendy stomped over and pushed Ludwig aside.

Wendy: "Come on you little alley rat, we know you stole Ludwig's hair now tell us how to reverse it! NOW!"

Toad: "I have no idea what you all are talking about. I don't know how his hair got on top of my head. I just woke up and......it just appeared there."

Ludwig: "LIAR! Prepare to burn!"

Iggy: "Wait Ludwig! If you scorch him you'll scorch the hair, and then you'll never get it back."

Toad: "Yeah, what he said dragon breath."

--Ludwig took up another chair and broke it over Toad's head.

Ludwig: "New Rule!"

**To Be Continued...**


	5. Mario is Missing

--Luigi spotted Ludwig's airship in the sky. He could tell it belonged to that diabolical koopa because it has the standard wooden base but with a distinctive downward arch shape to it and a vertical line design. Also the name "Ludwig" was on the side with big bright letters.

Luigi: "Good, now there is no way Ludwig is going to get away from us...hey, wait a minute? Where's Mario?"

--Meanwhile…Mario is at a lake filling FLUDD up with water.

FLUDD: "Thank you Mario for taking me with you."

Mario: "Yeah whatever. I'd be happy if I didn't need to stop every quarter-of-a-mile to fill you up."

FLUDD: "I LOVE YOU."

--Fludd kissed Mario on the cheek.

Mario: "Eww! For the last time stop doing that!"

* * *

Wendy & Iggy: "...23..."

Ludwig: "Tell me!"

Toad: "Eeeuurgh..."

--Ludwig took another chair and broke it over Toad's head.

Wendy & Iggy: "...24..."

Ludwig: "Tell me!"

Toad: "Urrrghh..."

--Ludwig took another chair and broke it over Toad's head.

Wendy & Iggy: "...25..."

Ludwig: "Tell me!"

Toad: **-gag-**

Iggy: "Ludwig, stop! If you keep this up you are going to kill him! Just wait until we get home and maybe King Dad will figure something out."

Ludwig: "Nope, no way. I'm taking him to my fort in Pipe Land."

Iggy: "But why? King Dad could surely get Toad to spill the beans."

Ludwig: "Exactly. I want to take care of Toad by myself. Tell the pilot to set the course for my fort."

Wendy: "Pilot? What pilot?"

Iggy: "Yeah who's flying this thing?"

Ludwig: "......oops." **-runs away-**


End file.
